In the midst of my chaotic life, especially more recently than before, I have discovered that I am actually lost. I’m lost in world that I don’t understand.
I’m in a world where people are okay with hurting others, both emotionally and physically. I’m in a world where generosity is hard to find. I’m in a world where everything doesn’t seem to make sense, with relationships, jobs, and simply just life in general.
But in a way, I know I’m not the only one. I know that there are people out there simply looking for what makes them happy, but are unable to figure it out. There are people looking for what they are supposed to do with their life, but are unable to take a step in the right direction.
I think that this “I’m not alone” revelation came to me after rereading the book, “for one more day,” by Mitch Albom. I was given this book by my favorite high school teacher when I graduated in May 2007. I never actually read the whole thing, until today (which is 6 years following my high school graduation). I cried. And what I determined is that we’re all a little lost and we’re all looking for something more than what we have.
But what I also realized, is that I am happy. I am happy because I am appreciative for the things that I do have. I may have a broken heart and a step-brother who I am no longer speaking to, but what I do have outweighs those things.
I have a home. I have a job that allows me to go to school, while still able to support myself. I have a dog who I love more than life. I have a very few, but very wonderful group of friends. I have a family that most people would die for. My mother is a strong willed and loving person, who if I didn’t have by my side..I’m not sure how I would have gotten through many situations. I have a compassionate and god-loving father, who is there whenever I need him and is there even when I need him, but I’m not sure that I do. I have a sweet and wise grandmother, who calls me her angel and to some extent..I actually believe she is my saving grace.
I was raised in a divided family, but in no way has this divided me. My parents have been there for me, sacrificed for me, and loved me more than I may ever realize. They gave me morals. They taught me to appreciate the little things, and that the most important things aren’t material things. They taught me how to think of others before myself and that generosity is one of the greatest gifts you can share with the world.
I had previously lost sight of those things in the midst of the terrible decisions I was making. I was trying to please a man who, in reality, cared more about drinking than he did about me. I tried so hard to make him happy, that I lost sight of the things that are really important to me and my life. But I’m ready to take myself back to who I am..which is not a girl who gets drunk on Sundays and cries at bars. I am what my parents taught me and it’s time for me to start practicing that again.
We’re all a little lost but we’re all a little lucky, too.